(photo props to me)
HOWEVER, in the hopeful case that you find yourself in a more appropriate situation... Make sure you follow my very own 5 point stereotypical checklist to a quality 5 de Mayo:
1.) Tequila of your choice
2.) Limón y Sal (or Chile covered Mango)
3.) Cultural appreciation and knowledge of historical context..............
4.) Cervezas-- Corona, but preferably Dos Equis or Negro Modelo
¡AND MOST IMPORTANTE!
5.) These. Let's leave the normal party soundtrack at home and make this a genuine celebration...
When I was in Honduras (yes, the Mexican native genre of Ranchera has infiltrated almost all of latin america) a couple summers ago, you could not pass one Cantina (bar) (which I was unfortunately not allowed to enter) at any hour of the day without hearing this song blaring. I give you the legendary Mexican version of Elvis, Vicente Hernandez...
(I know every word by heart against my will... kinda)
And if I couldn't escape that song. You couldn't escape my house mother, Ivonne (the Honduran version of Don Corleone) singing this one at the top of her lungs every morning....
(keep in mind that none of these are complete without your own personal accompaniment of that iconic high pitch and coarse yelp that everyone should recognize)
But wait I forgot!
6). Tamales to cure the hangover
¡Bien salud pendejos!